Expected vs. Concerning Teen Behaviors
As the school year begins once again, I have been receiving calls from concerned parents of teens wondering what is expected teen behavior and what is more serious. Are you worried about your adolescent and considering therapy for her/him? Here are some useful distinctions that I hope will help you in making that decision.
If your teen wants to spend more time with peers and less time with you, rest easy as this is expected. However, if your teen does not want to spend time with family or friends and seems to be shunning social activity, this may well be cause for concern.
If your teen exhibits sadness or anxiety following arguements or breakups with boyfriends, girlfriends, or friends, rest assured this is expected. However, sadness or anxiety that does not correct itself after a few days to a few weeks, or has no apparent cause, may well be reason for concern.
If your teen is reluctant to get up early for school, know this is expected. However, if your teen absolutely refuses to attend school, this is cause for concern.
If your teen goes from being joyful or happy to being sad, worried, irritable or angry, rest easy as this is expected. However, if mood swings are rapid, consistent, and / or intense, this may be cause for concern. If these mood changes are accompanied by changes in sleep patterns, drops in grades, and /or increased difficulty coping, this may be reason for concern.
If your teen worries about physical appearance and fitting in with peers, this is expected. However, if your teen exhibits sudden changes in eating patterns, over-exercising, and / or extreme negative comments about the self based on appearance, this may well be cause for concern.
If your teen is skeptical, argumentative, doubting and disobedient, rest assured this is expected. However, being too good, too nice, overly focused on caring for others, or fearful of making mistakes may in fact be cause for concern. Likewise, persistent escalation of arguments or aggression and related legal issues, are reason for concern.
If you believe your teen is struggling, I would be happy to meet with you to see how best we can work together.
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